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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29207067">aloe you very much</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/budd/pseuds/budd'>budd</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>i'm taking my journal to the bathroom [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Schitt's Creek</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Exasperated Patrick Brewer, Explicit Language, Gift Giving, Implied Sexual Content, Lube, M/M, Mentions of Anal Plugs, Originally Posted on Tumblr, Pre-Episode: s05e13 The Hike, Prompt Fill, Season/Series 05, Sex Talk</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 05:47:53</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>735</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29207067</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/budd/pseuds/budd</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Patrick purchases an organic lube for him and David to test out in bed after he expresses interest at a vendor show.</p><p><a href="https://languageoflove.tumblr.com/post/642213419132567552/valentines-dayromance-prompts">#25</a>: "Person A accidentally buys Person B a gift they're allergic to."</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Patrick Brewer/David Rose</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>i'm taking my journal to the bathroom [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2144166</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>55</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>aloe you very much</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/agoodpersonrose/gifts">agoodpersonrose</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>
  <i>for the valentines prompts!! Person A accidentally buys person B a present they are allergic to sounds cute !!!!</i>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>thank you for the number, becca! i don't know if you'd necessarily constitute this as "cute", but this is where my brain went, so we're going with it</p><p>  <s>the way i'll find any excuse to project onto david to the point where he's allergic to aloe solely because i am</s></p><p>also, i whipped out my inner ted mullens with the title 😂 </p><p>P.S. this is definitely a bit of uncharted territory in terms of my writing, so bare with me here.<b>as always, it's barely read over and unbeta'd</b>; you're in for a treat!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  
</p><p>David pulls Patrick down by the neck, connecting their lips in an anything but chaste kiss after removing his Prussian blue Henley.</p><p>While he works at his mouth, Patrick slots a knee in between David’s legs to bring their bodies flush against one another. He tightens his grip on the back of Patrick’s head, rutting his thighs upward in the process to create friction. <em> Fuck</em>, David quietly mutters, disconnecting their lips momentarily to catch his breath in an attempt to regroup himself. He repositions his hands on Patrick’s hips, harshly pulling them down. Before he has a chance to manoeuvre their lips back into each other’s embrace, however, Patrick untangles their limbs, sitting back on his heels.</p><p>“I actually brought something for you,” He begins, swinging his legs over the side of the bed as he makes his way towards his underwear drawer. “I visited that new sex shop in Elmdale—”</p><p>“You know my thoughts on buying toys for us to use without conversation first,” David chimes in, sitting up slightly against the headboard.</p><p>Chuckling, Patrick turns around with a so-dark-purple-it's-virtually-black plastic bag in his left hand, the words <em> THANK YOU </em> printed thrice in a pure white print across both sides bookended by neon orange smiley faces the colour of the vests traffic conductors wear.</p><p>“I do,” He sits down on the edge of the bed, raking his gaze up and down his boyfriend’s almost entirely naked olive toned body as he guides himself into a cross-legged position. “Which is why I passed up the <em> very </em> tempting collection of anal plugs and opted for an organic lube instead. I remember you mentioning it to me at the last vendor show we attended for the Apothecary, so I thought I’d pick it up.” Patrick lifts the bottle up in between his fingertips, studying the discreet, lotion-esque packaging. </p><p>David tucks a smile into the corner of his mouth, his now pronounced dimples shimmering like a diamond uncovered in a ton of dirt underneath the dim illumination emitting from his bedside lamp as well as the night light next to the apartment’s entrance. “I refuse to let the anal plug comment go disregarded, however, I appreciate your generosity and I’d be more than interested in entertaining the idea of testing a new product.” </p><p>Patrick unceremoniously tosses the now empty bag onto the floor next to them them prior to crawling across the bed on all fours, stopping his free hand at the waistband of David’s all too expensive boxer briefs. Once he receives the nod of approval, Patrick wastes no time on squirting a copious amount of the transparent, shutter-inducing cold liquid onto his fingers. He reaches across David’s exposed torso to place the bottle atop the stack of books parallel to his pillow when a hand rests on his sternum. “What?” Patrick asks, nervous he's somehow overstepped even though this is a dance they've waltzed seemingly hundreds of times at this point in their relationship.</p><p>Silently, David removes his hand to grab the bottle of lube. “Organic aloe vera gel,” He whispers to himself. “Yeah, we can't use this.” </p><p>“Why?” Patrick’s eyes widen, scooting back to distance himself from David’s rapidly shaking head. </p><p>“I’m allergic to aloe, we've been over this; remember when I told you not to use the sunburn lotion on my back after our weekend at your parents’ pool?” David says, placing the bottle gently in the same spot he retrieved it from. </p><p>“No, you never said that, I would've remembered!” Patrick sighs, bowing his head. He facepalms himself with his non-slick hand, rubbing the excess lube onto the towel neatly placed atop the dark grey comforter as David speaks.</p><p>“Honey,” He hooks a finger underneath Patrick’s chin that way he can see the sincerity in his eyes. “It's okay, with how much I spew, I can't expect you to remember anything.” </p><p>Patrick groans, throwing his head back thus forcing David to release his grip. “But we finished the other brand, this is all we have.” </p><p>David smirks, patting the spot next to him for Patrick to lie down. He complies, David quickly crawling over him to connect his lips to Patrick's earlobe. “There’s other ways to <em> slick things up</em>,” He drops a soft peck to the skin where his neck and shoulders meet. “I’m gonna need you to wash your hands and grab a new towel first, though.”</p><p>“I can make that happen." </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>if you'd like to see the rest of the prompts and/or submit one yourself, do so <a href="https://languageoflove.tumblr.com/post/642213419132567552/valentines-dayromance-prompts">here</a> </p><p>you can also find me on <a href="https://twitter.com/twysands">twitter</a>, too!</p><p>don't forget to leave a comment/kudos and all that jazz if you liked what you read &lt;3</p></blockquote></div></div>
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